Dinner Table Talk
by Rot-Chan
Summary: Sasuke is jealous of Naruto's kitchen appliances, Sakura just can't say the right thing - and Hinata and Naruto's daughter gives them the low down on how her parents like to..."hug" in bed. At dinner. Yay. ::SasuSaku; NaruHina; crack/humor.::


**Title**: "Dinner Table Talk"

**Author**: Rot-chan/FrenchBeats

**Pairings**: NaruHina & SasuSaku

**Summary**: Hinata and Naruto's daughter give Sasuke and Sakura the low down on her parents' bedroom eyes, their loud noises, and how they like to . . . _hug_ in bed. At dinner. Please pass the turnips. . . .? NaruHina/SasuSaku

**Note**: This is for all the people who have had to deal with a child who has told people things you didn't want anyone else to know. Kids don't know how to keep what needs to be private private. By the way - this is AU, though barely; Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto and Hinata are around 25/26 years old. I hope you enjoy. P.S. Buttercup is a Power Puff Girls character.

**Review! Revue! :) Merci. **

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The little girl looked innocent enough. She sat with her blonde hair up in a ponytail, a Buttercup barett in her hair, writing her name in her mashed potatoes with her fork.

The mother was frantically buzzing about the kitchen, trying to find the cooking wine for the white wine sauce; the father was trying to hide the fact that he _drank_ the cooking wine when he was watching a hockey game last weekend.

"So, Natsumi – did you learn anything in kindergarten today?" Sakura asked her politely.

The little girl grinned. "No, but last night I learned that Mommy and Daddy like to hug each other in bed."

Sasuke choked on a turnip.

Looks can be deceiving. . . .

***

Earlier that evening, the Uzumakis had welcomed their dear (childless) friends into their household.

Now, I mention that they are 'childless', merely because childless friends are usually somewhat horrified when they enter a home with children. And despite his cool facade, it can be said that Uchiha Sasuke was, indeed, disturbed by the mess he saw around him when he entered their home – a box of Twinkies lying on the living room floor, dozens of Barbies scattered across the sofa, and two mean looking cats glowering at him as they perched atop of the television.

Hinata poked her head out of the kitchen. "Oh! Y-you're here already!" She stammered, clearly embarrassed by the mess, or the fact that she was wearing an apron with 'Too Hot to Handle' on the front of it. (It was of course given to her as a joke, but it was still an apron, after all.)

She quickly untied the article of clothing and threw it over the kitchen chair. "I-I'm sorry about the mess - but I completely forgot you told us you had to come an hour early! I'm so sorry!"

Sasuke stared at their newly renovated kitchen, secretly jealous and then secretly worried, because in his logic only old (and unattractive) people envied kitchen appliances; Sakura helped Hinata by cleaning some of the dishes and setting out the cranberry sauce; Hinata bustled around, apologizing to Sakura every ten minutes for asking for her help.

"Hey." Sasuke turned around to stare at a little blonde clone. It was Natsumi. Naruto's daughter.

Somehow the Uchiha had always pictured that moron to have a group of annoying little boys, not a bratty little girl. And he was always weirdly uncomfortable from her pearly gaze.

"I wanna play barbies with you." She crossed her arms, staring at him expectantly. Most people know that when a five year old girl asks – demands for you to play dolls with her, it's wise to agree. Because girls are notorious for getting what they want. . .and making a scene if they don't. Sadly, Sasuke was not one of those people.

"Ask your. . . daddy to play with you." Daddy. He seriously just said the word _daddy_.

Natsumi frowned and gave him a bratty look. "Fine. But you're not my friend _ANYMORE_!" She stamped out of the room.

Hinata laughed nervously; Sakura shot her fiance a look, and Sasuke tried – tried – to shrug.

***

A half hour later, the front door slammed open, letting in a wild flurry of wet leaves and downpour. And a big orange slicker.

Hinata ushered her dripping husband in through the front door, giving him a towel to dry his hair. Their guests were seated at the dining room table.

"Sorry I'm late," Naruto called as he hung up the slicker on a peg on the coat hanger. "I got stuck at work."

"Daddy, you're back! What took you so long?" Natsumi asked when her father walked into the dining room. She tried to shove her cauliflower under her potatoes. Like her father, she had a tendency to prefer processed, fake, artificially sweetened food.

He ruffled her hair and took a seat across from Sasuke. "Sorry sweetie, but my boss is a jerk." Natsumi giggled. Sasuke refrained from rolling his eyes.

"I-I'm almost done with the sauce for the chicken. It should be ready soon," Hinata smiled, walking back to the kitchen. Naruto got up and followed her through the door, calling over his shoulder, "Sorry, but I really should help."

Sasuke and Sakura slowly turned to stare at each other.

"Do you notice. . . ."

". . .Something _different_?"

"But it's only been three weeks since we last came over!"

"I know," Sasuke said with a dark look. He didn't particuarly enjoy going to Naruto's house.

"Since when does _Naruto_ voluntarily help his wife? Not that that's, you know, abnormal or anything," Sakura said in a whisper. They had known Naruto since high school, and he wasn't exactly the type to try to help out with the housework, and as they'd already told him he was lucky that he found such a doting wife -

"Mommy said Daddy is too lazy, so she _makes_ him help." Both turned to stare at Natsumi, who picked at her plate innocently.

Sasuke, who had been a bit miserable ever since he got there, was finally a little interested. His mouth turned up as much as it possibly could as he said evilly, "Oh, really? What else does your . . . mommy say to your daddy?" Really, this could be perfect for a laugh at the dobe's expense.

Natsumi glowered at him. "You're not my friend, re-mem-ber?" She said every syllable with bite. Sasuke sat back in his chair, miffed.

"And you know, your hair is _ug-ly_," Natsumi grinned as she built her mashed potato mountain. Sakura giggled but stopped when Sasuke glared. Little brat.

***

Hinata and Naruto could be heard arguing (albeit civilly) in the kitchen; something about wine and the playoffs.

Sakura drummed her fingernails on the dining room table. She watched Natsumi drag the tines of her tiny pink fork through her mashed potatoes, obviously bored. So why not humor her? Sakura recalled that Hinata told her over the phone yesterday that Natsumi loved kindergarten.

"Natsumi - did you learn anything in kindergarten today?" Sakura asked in a sweet voice.

The little girl looked thoughtful, then said with an innocent smile, "No, but I learned that Mommy and Daddy like to hug in bed."

- And here is where Sasuke sputters on that turnip, and almost chokes to death. Coughing violently, Sakura worriedly patted (beat) his back as the Uchiha gagged up the vegetable.

"Yeah, yeah - I saw them last night! I went in 'cause I heard their_ loud noises_, and they were hugging and kissing - ew! Gross," Natsumi giggled innocently as she piled her turnips on top of the potatoes.

Sakura felt her ears turn scarlet. Learning about your close friends' sex lives through their five year old daughter - beyond awkward. "Natsumi, I don't think-"

"But it's true! I saw 'em, and Mommy was all red and Daddy got angry and yelled and I was scared that they were fighting . . . but then I asked them what they were doing and Mommy said that she and Daddy _like_ to hug," Natsumi beamed, as she was proud to share her special secret with her parents' friends.

Sasuke fidgeted in his chair, secretly wondering if having children would interfere with his sex life; Sakura sat back in her chair, her cheeks red, wondering if her sex life would taint the innocence of her children.

Suddenly, Hinata came into the dining room holding a large pan of chicken in her hands, followed by Naruto, who held the sauce.

Natsumi chirped, "Mommy! Daddy! I was just telling Sasook and Sakura about how you like hugging in bed together! Isn't that right Mommy? That's what you_said_, isn't it, Mommy?

Naruto gaped. Sakura covered her mouth with her hand. Hinata dropped the pan of chicken. Sasuke twitched - **_Sasook_**?

***

All in all, it was a bad dinner. The chicken - what was salvaged of it, anyway - was a bit overcooked; and everyone but Sasuke tried to hide their turnips, as no one actually enjoys eating turnips.

Sakura was now the one who had to keep apologizing to Hinata for prompting her daughter to bring up something so embarrassing. Naruto had warned Natsumi to never speak of his and Hinata's . . . _hugging_ ever again, leading everyone at the table to feel uncomfortable.

And throughout the meal, Natsumi didn't hesitate to remind Sasook - I mean, Sasuke, that his hair was, indeed, quite ugly.

**- END -**


End file.
